Thru The Storm

September 19, 2011
Yesterday I had not only the privilege, but the honor, to walk the Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon walk. I was on a team that collectively raised $22,555.00!!! I was walking on the team "Cruzin' for Rylie Hope", in memory of Rylie Hope. Karen Cruz, Rylie's mom, was our team leader, and she did a FANTASTIC job.

My desire in this post is to show each person who reads it God's faithfulness.

Each individual who commits to walking in the Jimmy Fund walk is required to raise a minimum of $250.00. If this amount isn’t raised thru fundraising by November 1st, the money will be collected from the walker. On the day I registered I was fine with that, figuring if I could not raise or work to earn the required funding amount, contributing the $250.00 from our personal funds would be something we were ok with. Well, that was the case until September 12th, the day my husband came home, a complete mess, to tell me he had been laid off.

Shortly after I committed to doing the walk, I decided that I wasn't going to rely solely on the generosity of others to raise funds for the walk, I was going to work for it. I considered a few options for raising money for the walk, and then the idea of becoming an Usborne book consultant was proposed to me. I loved the idea, and decided that is what I would do. So I signed on and decided from that moment on, I would split my commission 50/50 with the Jimmy Fund. I was able to book a few shows, and had put aside half of any money I earned to contribute to the walk. Still, this left me a little short in reaching my goal.

The instant my husband came home and told me he had been laid off, all of our bills flooded my mind! The mortgage, the car, household bills, groceries.....THE JIMMY FUND WALK!!!!!! Suddenly, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I knew we would do what had to be done to pay our bills and feed our children, but how could I possibly remind my husband that I still had money to earn, even just a small amount, for something "extra".....

I had raised a few contributions from posting the link to my personal fundraising page on facebook, and also a family member contributed after sending out an e-mail to family. I was not persistent in posting on Facebook, as I felt I had worn out that resource with all of the other fundraising I had done in the past. However, I decided I would post once a day with the link to my fundraising page until the day of the walk.

I watched the donations come in!!!!! One after another, after another!!! Each time someone contributed I was brought to tears. Before I knew it, my fundraising requirement had not only been met, but exceeded!

The entire week leading up to the walk, I doubted myself...could I really do this? After all, I spent the entire week moping around feeling like the world was going to end now that my husbands job, our sole source of income had been taken away. I really should have been training. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Pathetic. Who am I to be having a pitty party for myself anyways?!?!?! Each day I thought of reasons why I would have to register as a virtual walker, or reduce the distance I would walk. I prayed and asked God to help me find the strength. Each time I started to have these self doubting thoughts, I was reminded of the parents that sit by their sick children, and the people fighting cancer. Where did their strength come from? They have no choice but to face the difficulties each day. Well....that meant neither did I.

The day before the race, Scott and I discussed that I would need to wake up at 315 a.m. to be ready to leave my house at 4:00 a.m.. Almost every night this week I have seen 3:15 a.m. on the clock before I have fallen to sleep. I had mentioned how nice it would be to stay in a hotel closer to the walk, allowing for extra sleep time. Before I knew it, Scott had checked his points balance with Hilton Honors, and he was checking in with a hotel about 15 minutes from Hopkinton. He not only accumulated enough points for a nights stay in Natick free of charge, but we would have enough left over for a weekend away sometime!

I called the person I had arranged to car pool with to ask her if she wanted to stay in the hotel, within hours we were on our way!!! We checked in to the hotel, and went right to our room. We chatted and caught up, as I have known Tarnya since 8th grade. We went down to the lobby to get a cup of tea and came back to our room. We got ready for bed, and I decided before I went to sleep I would check my e-mail one last time before hitting the hay.

I had several new e-mails, most of them junk. Two that stood out to me were from Care Pages. Two of the little girls I follow thru carepages had updates. One from Charlotte Kelly and the other from Lexi Kittle. I have never met Charlotte but learned of her thru Karen Cruz. Lexi is a little girl that went to our church. I have been praying for both of those little girls and their families from the moment I learned about their illness.

Chalotte's update was about a prayer group that was forming to pray on her behalf. I prayed for her right then and there. The other was an update from Lexi's family, they posted that sweet Lexi had lost her battle with cancer and was now home with the Lord. I cried. I just knew, Wednesday night that when Pastor Larry had asked for prayer for them, saying that Lexi's time on earth did not appear to be long that this walk was going to mean even more to me.

I laid in bed tossing and turning, praying and crying. I was glad that Lexi was now cancer free, and thought of all the other people rejoicing in Heaven cancer free as well. I thought of Rylie, and the many, many others that had lost their life to cancer. I like to picture people entering Heaven cancer free dancing in the streets of gold with Jesus. It always makes me smile a little to think of it that way. Before I knew it, the clock was reading 1:19 a.m., I had to wake up at 4:30. I prayed myself to sleep a short time after that. I asked God for grace for all of the families whose lives have been affected by cancer, I asked God to show each person walking tomorrow a sign from their loved one, I asked God for a job for my husband, I asked God for sleep and peace, I also asked God for the strength to get through the 26.2 mile walk ahead of me. I thanked God for allowing me to take part in this walk, I thanked God for the blessings that I am sure would come from Scott being out of work, I thanked God for the generosity of people that had already helped our family, I thanked God for my salvation. I thanked God for lots of things, and prayed for lots of things, I just can't think of them all right now.

I woke up to the sounds of, "This is your wake up call" from a sun-shiny recorded voice. REALLY?!?! A chipper voice at 4:00 a.m.?!?! ick. I got dressed and drank my vitamin C shot, and off we went.

When I walked into the gymnasium to see all of the walkers gathering together and registering for the walk I was instantly overwhelmed! I heard someone call my name, it was Karen! She pointed us in the direction of people from our team. It was a great feeling to start the walk as a team. We walked a while as a team, and before I knew it we had separated from the group.

I had posted a few times asking for names of people who others would like me to pray for as I walked. I had each of those names written down on a piece of paper tucked into my little satchel. As we passed each mile marker, I prayed to myself. Sometimes I prayed for individuals, sometimes, I prayed for families, I prayed for doctors, I prayed for researchers, I prayed for a cure, I prayed my heart out after each mile marker we walked past.

We stopped at the halfway re-fueling station. They were serving lunch at this one, neither Tarnya or myself wanted to eat lunch. The snacks and water/gatorade at each stop was working out well for us. We ran into RJ and Greg, RJ said we were the front runners for our team so far. That didn't last long though, RJ and Greg passed us not long after that! (Way to go guys!) Not that this was a race on a competition by any means.

After the half way mark, my hips were letting me know they were not pleased with me. We pressed on, stopping a little more frequently to stretch our leg muscles. Each mile marker we passed had the face of a child wearing a smile. I prayed for each of them and their loved ones as well. Tarnya and I weren’t really conversating much anymore, I think we were both focused on crossing the finish line and trying to not think about the pain. Around the 20 mile mark, my right foot became full of pain. By 22nd mile, I wasn't sure I was going to finish. I just prayed and prayed, seriously I think I prayed more during this walk than I ever have!

When we reached the 25th mile marker, we sat for a bit. I wasn't sure if our bodies would let us finish, but my heart was determined. We walked on to the 26th mile marker....the .2 miles were killer!!!! Walking thru the sea of people in the city was tough, weaving and bobbing waiting for crosswalks to clear, and I kept thinking we should see the finish line by now, and FINALLY there it was!!!! We walked thru the finish line, and I spotted Makayla and Haillee, Rylie's sisters, the tears welled up in my eyes.

I congratulated Tarnya, and took off my shoes and socks! I was sure I was going to see at least one blister! NOTHING!!! Thank you whoever it was that recommended the Vaseline on my feet, it worked!!! :)

I now sit here at home thinking of God's faithfulness. He provided the funds, the hotel at no cost, and the energy to complete the walk. I did it on 3 hours of sleep, the fact that I finished is certainly an example of God's faithfulness.

Not to mention all of the other blessings to our family that week. We were provided with a gift card, money for groceries, friends and an outpouring of support for my husband as well as myself. We were treated to a fun "night off" with pizza and ice cream with family. God has been so faithful to our family, reminding us that we are not alone, and that he will provide for our family, even thru the storm.
I wish I could say that there was a cure for cancer, and that my husband has a job now, and that we were all going to live happily ever after. That isn't the case. But I can tell you that my faith has grown over the last week, and that I will continue to pray for each name on my list, and each person who's going through a storm right now. God will see you thru.